Laying on a couch in Richmond, VA. Getting dropped off at the Richmond Airport at 9:00am, which means tour will offically be over.

I think i am going to retire this blog. I dont want to get rid of the stuff on here, but i want to do something else, go in a new direction.

the new Lemuria record is incredible.

incredibly short sighted and completely irrelevant.

I kind of want to quit every band I play in and move somewhere to the pacific northwest, or just the furthest place possible form here or there. Readjust myself in Canada and get a new focus on everything that needs sharpening. I don’t want to be anywhere around her (or her), and I don’t want to think about them, or anyone else. I don’t want to have to feel like I am constantly letting someone down by doing things that do not really have to be done (booking tours, loaning gear, talking, listening – these are all things I wish to avoid these days). I don’t want to take another insult form a drunk friend, and I don’t want to kiss another girl. I want to be by myself until all of this makes a little bit of sense.

Until I know what I am doing.

Until I don’t have dreams of anything other than the achievable.

I have lived a life of always wanting more, and constantly striving for it. Maybe its just about time to accept the inevitable and say, “fuck it. I’ll just be a single and lonely and not a musician for the rest of my life.” These are the cards that are constantly dealt to me, so maybe I should just cash in the hand and settle for my marginal victory.

Many people my age would kill for a degree and a middle-class job. I have the first and all the possibilities for the latter, but, all I want is to be loved.

Out the window to my left is a sign for Interstate 75 South. All it reminds me of is how much I don’t want to go home.