Becoming a Ghost

I listen to my phone ring over and over and over and over again. I turned off my answering machine weeks ago, so the phone just rings. and rings. and rings. and rings. I listen to it ring simply because I know that on the other end there is nothing that I am remotely interested in hearing. I don’t check my e-mail anymore because I know there is nothing interesting in there. I only log into myspace to book our December tour. I avoid facebook at all costs. I delete all of my old text messages daily; there is nothing worth remembering in them.

If I wanted to talk to someone, I would call them. If I wanted to get out of my house, I’d get in my car and drive. But today, I would rather be a ghost. I would rather forget that the world knows that I exist. I would rather forget that I am capable of loving, and therefore capable of being left, and ultimately capable of being hurt.

Today I would rather forget that she use to call me every night and we’d talk each other to sleep.